Invalidating your feelings
For example, a shy child growing up in an outgoing, talkative family may be teased and taunted because she's quiet and keeps to herself.
At the opposite end of the range of emotional invalidation experiences, parents may deliberately neglect their children or inflict extreme emotional or physical abuse on them as punishment for expressing their emotions.
Most of us wonder why the populations in the world who seem to have the greatest mobility and most material possessions are suffering from the yoke of despair and depression. As human beings we need to be both independent and interdependent.
We need to feel a sense of love and of contribution.
When people say that relationships take work, they mean maintaining that constant balance of each other's emotions.
Your partner avoiding the "work" in the relationship is like wanting to have his cake and eat it, too.
' When another person wrongly evaluates or misunderstands your communications or your state of mind, naturally this is upsetting. If you ignore your own feelings and believe they must be right, you begin to follow their will, not your own.
A part of you has identified with the other person and split from the real you. This very commonly occurs with children, where they take on the characteristics of their parents.
One of the factors that causes fragmentation of your identity - who you think and feel you are - is invalidation, which happens when you feel made wrong by another's comments or actions. One of the main ways this comes about is through invalidation, or 'making wrong'.An emotionally invalidating environment is any situation involving other people in which they respond to your expressions of emotion inappropriately or inconsistently.In the context of borderline personality disorder (BPD), "invalidating" means failing to treat your expression of emotions with attention, respect, and understanding.Through a simple "Oh, grow up," or a "Stop being a baby," your partner is rejecting the validity of your emotions.Your partner is basically saying that your opinion or feelings don't count.
of himself as someone to be taken seriously, that he so desperately wants.