Dating up dating down
He was on probation for stealing a video game, and his fingertips smelled like cigarettes and shellfish, having spent most evenings washing dishes at a seafood restaurant. “Cuz it’s fun just chillin’ with the boys, smoking cigarettes in the back,” he told me.
At one point, he kept going to work even though his boss had stopped paying him. Jeff wouldn’t find another job for nine months, mostly because his unemployment allowed him to sit in front his Play Station all afternoon.
They don’t want “more” and in many cases they prefer “less.”(less success = less complications…)My friend Charles was frustrated after being ‘let down easy’ with the excuse “I think we want different lifestyles.”He said, “Why do women have such a narrow band for dating and then complain there is no one out there?!
But I left town and, due to a series of bad relationships and improbably good grades, I stayed in school and earned a Ph. Then I was an adolescent who read Gloria Steinem and saw the feminists on TV.
By the time I was a graduate student, the idea that woman was man’s equal was regarded with hostility by the general population but as a mandate for change in universities. By the time I was 35, I was a professor who’d published two books but still hadn’t dated anyone who wasn’t a guy in a local band (he liked Alka-Seltzer with corn flakes for breakfast, hangover remedy); a small-time drug dealer (more than one of these, in fact); or a carpenter ready to knock off early if I’d just turned in a big project.
You know, most men are expected to financially support a woman.
Yet most women, even the successful ones, tremble at the thought of even buying a man a beer.”Not convinced you should change your “entitled” tune? (*caveat: math is rougher than my hands in Tahoe wintertime.
Every woman I know in San Francisco says the same thing.“He has to be this much taller and make this much more money. No date is dinged for being 5’5” or pursuing a career as a yogini.”Charles was right.